3 phrases i thought i'd never hear...

"Disregard the calories, in fact, you need to increase them to at least 1600."

"You may be working out too much."

"You need to use salt at every meal."

What?!? Huh?!? That goes against every fiber of my being....I mean really, salt, I never use salt, now I have to use it every meal?!? Crazy.  The key here is it has to be sea salt. Apparently it has essential minerals that the body requires that regular salt does not, who knew?

So here's the skinny, or what I hope will result in the skinny...nutritional response testing...no chicken, no caffeine, no sugar, no glutten, no dairy...and the list goes on....

So 2 weeks later, down 6 pounds, which is a start, but a long way to go (40 more for me as well).  The unfortunate thing, its expensive but I'm desperate...so appointment #2 today, where I sign my life away and figure out what to eat, since there doesn't appear to be much left...
=0(

YAY me.

I walked 2.11 miles today.  :-)  i am proud of myself.  i hope to keep it up.  it's been almost a year since i have been able to do this.

YAY me.

Progress continues........

I was afraid to weigh myself this morning but i am down another 5.5#s.  A total of 15.5#s.  i am very strict with myself.  trying to walk as much as possible.
i hope i can keep up the good work and meet my goal.

I didn't sleep at all last night...

Or rather i haven't been to sleep yet...I blame the McDonalds...not sure which part the chicken nuggets, fries, or diet coke.  I've been fighting the craving for about a week, but I've been good, and now I can tell you it definitely wasn't worth it.

I stayed home with a sore throat and headache today, and now I'm wondering if the sore throat is my acid reflux coming back with a vengeance.  Its been a long time since I've had to get up in the middle of the night for tums..Guess I should have stuck with my spinach salad....back to the elimination diet I'm thinking chicken for breakfast, chicken for lunch, chicken for dinner...
=°0(

Okay....

Time to get serious...

Stagnant

I am only 10#s down.  I haven't lost anymore.  Of course that could be bc I didn't walk at all during the holidays.
I need to do the back exercises I did in therapy after my first surgery.  It strengthened my back and toned my belly.  Right now it's loose and I have a muffin top.  If I wear a shapewear shirt it's not as bad but I want my tummy gone when I'm not wearing one. 

the countdown's begun...

33 days to Cancun, and here I sit, eating peppermint candy ice cream (in hopes that the peppermint will make my highly sensitive stomach feel better) contemplating why it is I can't seem to follow through, as soon as I make any strides toward weight loss, I shut down, stop doing the good things I'm doing and hate myself all the more...knowing that once again I've given up my success and reverted back if not further from where I started
=*0(

I know it's a self destructive mechanism to keep guys from getting too close, because if they can't (don't want to) get close, then I don't have to worry about getting my poor battered heart broken again...yet, the one thing I say that I want the most is someone to spend my life with....talk about a conundrum...

so battered and bruised (by my own psychological warfare) I have no one to blame for my situation but myself....11 years of therapy and I'm still doing it...where's the sense in that?!?

second verse same as the first...a little bit louder and a little bit worse...