33 days to Cancun, and here I sit, eating peppermint candy ice cream (in hopes that the peppermint will make my highly sensitive stomach feel better) contemplating why it is I can't seem to follow through, as soon as I make any strides toward weight loss, I shut down, stop doing the good things I'm doing and hate myself all the more...knowing that once again I've given up my success and reverted back if not further from where I started
=*0(
I know it's a self destructive mechanism to keep guys from getting too close, because if they can't (don't want to) get close, then I don't have to worry about getting my poor battered heart broken again...yet, the one thing I say that I want the most is someone to spend my life with....talk about a conundrum...
so battered and bruised (by my own psychological warfare) I have no one to blame for my situation but myself....11 years of therapy and I'm still doing it...where's the sense in that?!?
second verse same as the first...a little bit louder and a little bit worse...
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